The invisible rules of work that actually matter

I spent three years learning the hard way that doing good work isn’t enough.

I always thought that if I just kept my head down, focused on my tasks, and delivered — I’d get noticed. I’d move up. People would just know.

Turns out, that’s not how it works. There’s a whole hidden layer to being successful at work — the part that no one really talks about.

I’m talking about empathy, optics, and politics.

If I’d understood this from the start, I would’ve saved myself a ton of frustration. So in this article, I’m going to break it all down for you — the invisible rules of work that actually matter.

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Politics and relationships

Build solid relationships with everyone

A few years ago, a guy named Kiran reached out to me when I was back in Bangalore, and offered to buy me a beer in exchange for giving him advice on content creation. I happily agreed because — why not?

We continued to stay in touch and help each other with new tactics we were learning about YouTube and content creation, and eventually his Instagram page grew to a point where he was able to quit his job and be a full-time content creator.

Now, he’s one of the most well-known creators in India, and people are coming up to him on the street all the time when we’re together. And we’re still friends.

Here’s what I want to share.

Most people only think about networking up. They’re obsessed with impressing their boss, catching the eye of the VP, getting a coffee chat with a startup CEO. And yeah, those are important — but they’re not enough.

If you really want to build a strong network, you have to think across and down too.

That means:

• Building relationships with your teammates,
• Staying connected with people in other departments, as well as people at other companies at a similar level,
• And even getting to know interns, junior team members, and occasionally mentoring students and other junior folks.

Why it works: The thing most people miss is that people’s career trajectories are always moving. The student you think is “just a student”? They might end up at your dream company, or launching the next unicorn startup — and if you built that bridge early, you’re just one message away.

The higher-ups are important, but the people at your level and below are the ones growing with you. When they move up, your network moves up. When they find opportunities, they might bring you with them.

Most people only try to network with people who are ahead of them — and that’s a huge mistake.

Takeaway: It’s not just who you know — it’s who knows you. When you build connections at every level, you’re not just expanding your network — you’re building future opportunities. The intern today could be a decision-maker tomorrow. The teammate now might be your biggest advocate later.

Don’t talk shit about anyone behind their back

Office gossip is like quicksand. It seems harmless at first, maybe even a little entertaining. But the moment you step in, it’s really hard to get out. And worse — it leaves a stain.

Here’s the truth: if they gossip to you, they will gossip about you.

When you engage, even if it’s just to listen, you’re silently signaling that you’re okay with it. And that makes you look like you’re a part of it. Your reputation is being built — whether you realize it or not — in every conversation you’re part of.

Why it works: In work environments, perception is reality. You might think nobody notices, but they always do. If you’re seen as trustworthy and drama-free, you become the kind of person people want to vouch for. They know you don’t stir the pot, you don’t leak information, you don’t get involved in petty politics.

And when you’re not in the room, that trust pays off. People will support you, advocate for you, and shield you from the nonsense.

Takeaway: People remember who was part of the gossip — even if you only nodded along. Instead of engaging, just redirect, deflect, or move on. It’s not just about staying out of trouble. It’s about positioning yourself as the one person everyone can trust.

Know when to get out

My end-of-studies internship after my master’s was at a large corporate company in Paris. It’s not on my LinkedIn anymore and I’m not going to share the name. But let’s just say it was an internship at a company which, on paper, looked like a dream. It was a brand name, in marketing, and everyone wanted an internship there. And I got it.

However, it was the only internship where I actually quit in a single month.

From day one I had a feeling it wasn’t for me. I felt out of place in the office, and when I met my managers I wasn’t feeling super inspired. But I decided that maybe it’s just me, and I need to suck it up and move forward.

And then over the following days and weeks, it just got worse. The main thing that was bothering me was that in that team, there was no space for creativity and new ideas. It seemed like the managers already had a playbook for exactly what each intern should do, and I was basically just following instructions all day. It was super mind-numbing.

And then I also learned that the company doesn’t actually give out full-time offers to the vast majority of their interns. So it was basically going to be a dead end in 6 months anyway.

The turning point, which I very vividly remember, came when I was given a task to manually transcribe a TikTok video and put the speech into an Excel sheet to send to an agency.

I was like — I didn’t study tech for 4 years and at a top business school for 3 years to end up doing this.

The same day I started reaching out to startup CEOs and actively looking for a full-time job. A few days later I had a lead that came from a cold email I sent, and shortly after, I got a job offer, and then I quit the internship.

It felt a bit like I was letting them down, and that I was being a jerk, but I knew that it was the right move for my career.

The learning: Not every work environment is built for growth — at least, not your growth. Some companies are structured to burn people out, intentionally or not. Some roles are designed to be dead ends. And sometimes, the culture is just straight-up toxic.

The problem is, when you’re inside it, it’s really hard to see. You start to think, maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m not good enough. Maybe I’m not working hard enough. Maybe I’m the problem. But sometimes, you’re not the problem — the environment is.

The truth is, there are some work situations that are rigged from the start.

• Maybe it’s a revolving door of employees because the company’s expectations are unrealistic and they kick people out at the first sign of trouble.
• Maybe it’s a manager who’s never happy, no matter how much you do, because they’re going through something themselves, and no one seems to notice that.
• Maybe it’s a startup that pivots every three months and never finds its footing, simply because the leadership can’t stay focused and changes their mind with every new shiny idea they see on LinkedIn.

If you’re in a place where it feels like you’re running on a treadmill and getting nowhere, it’s not necessarily a lack of effort — it’s a structural problem. And no amount of “working harder” is going to fix it.

Leaving that kind of situation isn’t failure. It’s strategy.

Takeaway: Leaving the wrong place creates space for the right one. If you’ve tried to make it work — you’ve communicated, you’ve adapted, you’ve pushed through — and it’s still broken, then unless you’re the CEO, it’s not your job to fix it. It’s your job to find somewhere better.

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Optics and expectations

You are your own internal PR team

Here’s the reality: nobody is keeping track of your wins. Nobody is counting your successes and waiting to hand you a promotion. If you don’t tell people what you’re achieving, it’s like it never happened. It’s just business as usual.

People sometimes notice when things are going wrong, but they don’t usually notice when things are going right.

Think of yourself as your own internal PR team. You have to be your own advocate, your own storyteller. This isn’t about bragging. It’s about visibility. If people don’t see the work, it didn’t happen.

Why it works: Perception is 80% of your reputation. The other 20% is actual skill. You might be doing incredible work, but if no one knows about it, it’s like planting seeds and never watering them. You did the work, but it’s not going to give you anything back.

The people who get promoted, who get looped into high-visibility projects, who become indispensable to their teams — they don’t just do good work. They make sure their good work is seen.

Takeaway: One of the simplest ways to do this? Send out a quick weekly update to your manager — three lines. What you worked on. What you achieved. What’s coming up next. It’s not bragging — it’s strategy. And the people who know how to do this move faster, get noticed, and end up with more opportunities.

Underpromise, overdeliver. Always.

This one is deceptively simple. Only promise what you know you can exceed.

It’s a shift in mindset: instead of going all out and stretching yourself thin to hit impossible deadlines, you set expectations that you know you can not only meet, but smash.

Here’s the thing — people remember what you exceed, not what you achieve.

If you promise to deliver something in a week and you deliver it in 4 days, you look like a hero. If you promise it in 4 days and deliver it in 6, you look like you’re struggling. The work is the same. But the perception is completely different.

Why it works: When you consistently underpromise and overdeliver, you set up a mental framework in people’s heads. They start to think: “If I give it to them, it’ll get done right. Maybe even faster.” And that’s where trust is built.

When you build a reputation for exceeding expectations, you move up faster. It’s not always the loudest person in the room who gets promoted — it’s the one people can trust to do bigger and more high-stakes projects.

Takeaway: The key is strategic underpromising. You don’t slack off — you just frame your work with some buffer. That way, you protect yourself if there are unforeseen delays, and still deliver on time. And when you cross the finish line early, it’s seen as a bonus, not an expectation.

Keep 20% of your capacity as slack

Most people max out their schedules at 100%. They fill their days with meetings, projects, deadlines — and when something unexpected happens, they’re not prepared and have to disappoint people.

I call it the 80% rule: never book yourself beyond 80% capacity. That 20% of slack isn’t for “doing nothing” — it’s for handling the unpredictable.

When things go wrong (and they always do), you have the mental space and energy to pivot, adjust, and still deliver.

Why it works: Emergencies happen. Last-minute requests, urgent meetings, unexpected fires — if you’re already maxed out, you can’t respond effectively. The people who always seem “on it,” who always have time to take on more, who don’t crumble under pressure — they’re not superheroes. They’re just running at 80% capacity.

And here’s the best part: when you don’t need that 20%, you can use it to go deeper on projects, learn something new, or just breathe for a minute. All of those things help you do better work in the long run.

Takeaway: Create the space in your schedule for the unexpected — because when you can handle surprises gracefully, you’re seen as dependable. And that makes you invaluable.

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Empathy

Don’t report a problem without proposing a solution first

Nobody likes problems. Everyone already has 10 problems they need to solve that day. But everyone loves solutions.

When you bring a problem to your manager, you’re adding to their list of fires to put out. But if you come with a solution in hand, you’re not just a messenger — you’re a problem solver. The difference is massive.

Imagine this scenario:

• Person A says: “We’re blocked on this feature because the API we need costs way too much, and we don’t have the budget for it. What should I do?”
• Person B says: “So there’s an update. The API that we initially wanted to use turned out to be too expensive. But I did some research and testing, and I’ve found a cheaper alternative that’s way under budget and works 80% just as well. I’ve already made a prototype. If I have your go-ahead we can launch it.”

One is adding to the mental load, asking to find a solution. The other is removing it, and simply asking for a go-ahead.

And by the way, that’s a real story — and I was Person B.

Why it works: When you propose solutions, you position yourself as someone who thinks proactively. Someone who’s not just observing problems, but actively trying to solve them. And managers notice. Because when fires pop up — and they always do — they want someone they can trust to put them out, not just point at them and scream.

Takeaway: Even if your solution isn’t perfect, and even if it’s not the solution you go with, proposing something shows initiative. It shows you’re thinking critically and taking ownership. And that’s exactly the kind of person people want on their team.

Lean to the side of over-communicating

Here’s the reality: assumptions kill projects. A task you think is understood can easily get misunderstood, and that little gap? It gets bigger the further along you go.

A hidden misalignment in week one is easy to fix with a 30-minute conversation. But a misalignment between two teams three months into the project can mean failure.

That’s why you should always lean toward over-communicating. Not just in meetings — but in emails, Slack messages, and even one-on-ones. When you think you’ve made it clear, make it clearer.

Why it works: People rarely get annoyed if you’re clear and transparent. But they always get annoyed if you’re vague or leave things unsaid. If there’s any room for misinterpretation, someone is going to misinterpret it.

By sending frequent updates, asking clarifying questions, and being specific, you’re not just avoiding mistakes — you’re building trust. Your team knows you’re not going to drop the ball because you’re keeping them in the loop.

Takeaway: Clarity isn’t annoying. It’s rare. When people know exactly what’s happening, they don’t have to guess. They trust you more. And when you have that trust, you get more autonomy, more responsibilities, and more opportunities.

The “No Hello” rule

This last one completely changed the way I look at asynchronous text-based communication.

Have you ever gotten a message that just says, “Hey, how’s it going?” or worse, just a “Hey!”?

You know that they’re not just messaging you to ask how it’s going. You know it’s about something else. So you end up replying “Hey, all good, what’s up.” And then you end up waiting for their response, and now you’re invested and distracted, before you even know what they want.

It wastes everyone’s time.

That’s why you should always follow the No Hello Rule: never start a message with just “Hello” or “Hey.” Get to the point in your very first message.

Why it works: People are busy. Your manager, your team, even your peers — they don’t have time to wait for the conversation to get to the point. When you open with context, you’re showing respect for their time and you get faster responses.

Instead of:

“Hey, how’s it going?”

Send:

“Hey, I need your input on the Q3 marketing strategy. Are you free for a quick sync today?”

They know what you want, they know why you’re messaging, and they can respond without the back-and-forth.

Some people think that this would come across as rude. And it would, in person. But on message, it’s just making it easier for the other person to work with you.

Takeaway: Most people are just trying to get through their day — don’t make them work harder to understand you. Make it easy, and they’ll always want to work with you.

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Final thoughts

Looking back, it’s not just the work I did that mattered — it was how I showed up, who I built relationships with, and the small signals I sent every single day.

Mastering empathy, optics, and politics isn’t just career advice. It’s how you actually thrive in environments that most people just try to survive in.

If you’re just starting out, don’t wait to learn this stuff the hard way. Apply it now — and watch what happens.